Winter 2017 — THE POTOMAC

Three Poems

Jennifer Lagier


Lamenting Lost Youth

Camille dons a fuchsia smock,
reclines in a leather chair
as the nurse scrubs alcohol
into her face, explains
upcoming procedures.

First, botox injected here and there
to remove forehead furrows,
a jab at the end of each brow
to lift sagging eyelids.

Next, topical anesthetic,
then Novocain shots,
thin lips rejuvenated
by syringes loaded with filler.

The specialist inserts a needle,
lifts raw flesh to encourage
growth of new collagen
under each wrinkle.

She emerges with a pouty mouth,
no marionette creases
but will need ice packs and arnica
to minimize swelling and bruising.

Eventually, she'll invest
in coolsculpting treatments
to freeze away stubborn fat,
restore taut chin, neck and belly.

Camille endures pain
to emulate youth.
Spends a fortune to purchase
fleeting Frankenstein beauty.


AARP Booty Call

Camille meets Roy at Applebee's
for an Early Bird Dinner.
They connected online at,
found each other's profile intriguing.
Enjoyed "before" and "after" photos,
battle wounds of aging.

Both still have their own teeth,
a sense of humor,
raging libidos.
Qualify for AARP discounts
at restaurants, motels.
Love to eat, drink and travel.

After more dates,
they share a bed, discover
they can laugh at arthritic hips,
stretch marks, sagging boobs,
Cialis and wrinkles.

All that's missing
is flexibility, stamina,
nothing yoga can't cure.


On the Wagon

Camille never knew a night
could have so many hours,
momentarily regrets her
New Year's resolution
to dry out, reclaim
her self–control,
athletic body.

Drinks detox tea by the gallon.
Increases gym workouts.
Cleans the garage.
Tidies her garden.
Becomes a vegetarian.
Goes to bed early.

Enjoys waking up
Without a splitting headache.
Revels in weight loss,
leaner face,
emerging abs,
coherent thinking

Makes a point to avoid
bad habits,
unhealthy haunts,
her old alkie buddies.

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