Winter 2009 - THE POTOMAC

The Man Who Liked to Talk on The Bus
(in dialect of Glasgow, Scotland)

   Graham Fulton

headlights rain skuze me bit ji no whi thi name uh
thi wee baby in Addams Famly Valyewz iz its goat a daft
wee black mustash a think heez cawed Hubert heez cawed
Hubert am pretty shoor ji no naw nivir mind anyway
whis yir name Debbie thas a nice name ur yi married Debbie
whis hiz name Danny DebbienDanny ji want ti
divorce Danny Debbie an marry me ha ha naw nivir mind
whir ji work The Council thas a joab fur life that iz a
joab fur life if yi dont mess things up whiji do a sek
re tarry thas a joab fur life that iz sewz dayin a cleanin joab
ur the buildin trade ji like a drink Debbie whiji
drink gin whiji like in it tonic a wee slice a lemon ur
lime if they huv it it makes yi sad gin ma famly ma
mother boo hoo a hope yi dont mind me talkin ti yi
ma palz heedz a bit scrambled heez bin in the court aw day
an heez really worried he didny day it bit av told him its
no up to thi judge its up ti thi joory thas a nice accent yuv
goat American whirrabootznAmerica New York that
wiz mad that terrorist thing on the telly terrorist thas
a joab fur life that iz ha ha nivir mind a new sumdy who
came frum New Jersey a think he Jeezuz heerz ma stop its bin
dead nice talkin ti yi Debbie bye darlin take care headlights rain

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